Protecting your heart and state of mind

Half my life, I’ve been protecting my heart so damn hard I subconsciously isolated myself.

I haven’t grown cold, though, just wary. 

I am not incapable of attachment, I’m just cautious.

The thing that leads you to protecting your heart is that you start recognizing the patterns that once hurt you. You, being a good-natured human being and all, never understood what disrespect and mockery looked and felt like. So you gave out a lot of chances to the people who, often through jokes, put you down. The very people who kept taking advantage of your kindness thought they could do it endlessly, without consequences, and you kept giving them the benefit of the doubt. 

But one day, to your own surprise, it stops. Not their audacity but your ability to care anymore. You stop. That’s how life works. You either build immunity to exploitation over time or one day, you simply decide that you’ve had enough. That’s when the guardrails around your heart go up. That’s when those people, even if they don’t know it yet, lose you to the consequences of their own actions.

It’s only natural that you step back before the lion devours you whole. 

Protecting your heart only means you’re looking out for your best interest, for your well-being, which you totally have the right to. I do believe it is a defense mechanism after you’ve been emotionally abused so many times. So go ahead and let your walls go up whenever necessary. It isn’t always a negative thing.

As I’ve said before, I do hope your walls go down for the right ones in due time. But until then, always protect your heart and state of mind.