Non-Fiction
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The punches you can hardly catch
Her hunched back and distant gaze are a heartbreaking sight. Not the mom I grew up watching; the fast-paced, sharp, almost intimidating force of energy who could walk into a room and either fix your life or tell you exactly why it was falling apart. Or usually both, honestly. If you had told me in ’99 that by ’25 my mom would be a dependent version of herself, I would’ve laughed in your face. Loudly. Probably insulted you, too. Called you crazy…or maybe worse. She was the brain of the family. Honestly, I’d go as far as saying she was the brain of her entire friend group — everyone’s unofficial…
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Real or not: elementary teachers diaries
Does having a second or third teacher in a classroom make students wonder who they should report to? Sure. “Who’s the boss?” A kid asked me once. They’re clearly testing how much they can get away with and who the “highest authority” on the floor ultimately is. These questions are of no surprise to anyone in a Montessori or private school environment, I believe, where there can be more than one teacher per class. The last time one of my students expressed her inquisitiveness she did so in a very direct manner. “Miss Marcia, are you a real teacher?” It triggered a belly laugh from me because no one has…
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The woman on the trolley
There’s this trolley I take. My rides are usually short, but when I’m on it, I see all kinds of people hop on and hop off — seemingly old, young, rich, poor… Not many of them make an impression on me. Most times I’m lost in my zone with my headphones on. Or maybe I’m looking out the window, impatient to get home. Other times, I notice. For different reasons, some people are hard to miss, like an elderly woman I saw today. I think I know why, but I still can’t explain all that went through my head. I felt this sadness quickly build up the more I looked…
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Freezing Warm Sunday Morning
Warm Sunday morning. 11:11 on the clock. Been sitting here since nine sharp. Why can’t I get up, I wonder, as if it doesn’t happen enough times for me to know freezing like this is no surprise. The fatigue of a long past week condensed all at once. I subconsciously try making the feeling of calmness last. And the transition from waking to rising takes its time, it plays by ear, so accordingly I hold back. It’s the reflection of the sun through the blinds that I can’t stop looking at, displayed on the white ceiling like an art installation, is it not? And the ceiling fan spinning nonstop on…
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Music to her brain
What felt like a breakdown was probably a combination of hormonal changes and the realization that my present was bigger than anything I had imagined in the past. The realization that the parent who raised me and bulled her way through the ups and downs of life, without anyone by her side, is now only a shadow of what used to be a blazing light. Some time ago, my mother was diagnosed with dementia — the loss of cognitive functioning, like the ability to think rationally, remember, and express her thoughts. Although I’m not sure yet of how much I want to share of her story, I will say that…
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Motherhood: No Should or Could
Runny noses every other week. Bodies discovering and adapting to a new disease. Obliviousness to reasons why one should not bring their dirty hands to their mouths; licking common area surfaces like they’re a lollipop. Giggly faces, sweaty foreheads, and pounding little hearts. Their fast, sharp turns around the red slide make my own heart STOP… and my head spin just as fast. “WATCH OUT!” I blurt, as I watch them barely miss the edge of a random object sticking out of the playground. And I can’t help but wonder, do I admire their parents, pity, or belittle them for making such a blunt, crazy decision? For taking on the…
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Ghosting – and other heartless behaviors
As defined by Merriam-Webster online dictionary, ghosting is: the act or practice of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone (such as a former romantic partner) usually without explanation by no longer accepting or responding to phone calls, messages, etc. I personally couldn’t picture Romeo and Juliet ghosting each other, could you? But I do think this “practice” has existed for as long as we’ve been able to breathe — people avoiding reality, maybe? We just have a cooler and more fitting name for it now, in the 21st century. Ghosting is a more common practice in the dating and relationships scene. And, boy, does it really thrive in the…
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Let empathy show
Since I love stories of kindness, I’m going to share a short one today. In the lobby of a doctor’s office, I sat quietly next to a few women. They were all seemingly older than me by decades. Different ages, same visiting reasons though. The lobby had the typical relaxed design found at most hospitals — plain, neatly put together, but the space was anything but quiet since the crowd in a TV show erupted every minute. A few chairs surrounded the TV mounted on the wall — some faced it, some were lined up against it. I picked a seat facing the TV, even though I had little to…
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11 little-known facts about my blogging life
I thought I’d make this post a reintroduction. For the old readers and the new ones landing on this blog, whatever the reason may be, allow me to reintroduce myself with these little-known (or not known at all) facts about me! I am part of the first wave of bloggers from the early 2000’s! I first started posting my writings online on AOL Journals, soon transitioning to Myspace blog, and eventually stopping for a while. My journals consisted of just poems and “waking” thoughts. In 2009, after watching the movie Julie & Julia, I was inspired to pick up blogging again. I created my first blog, MySummerHair and it was…
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I think I burned the popcorn
I am usually very well-coordinated, organized, and able to follow directions. But when it comes to cooking, I am a completely, absolutely, and entirely helpless mess. It is maybe one of the only things (from the list of life essentials) that I just can’t get right. It’s been a running a joke among my family and friends for as long as I can remember, but it’s not even funny anymore; it is ridiculous. It doesn’t help that the kitchen is the last place I want to be. And I gave up on trying to be a chef a long time ago, but thought I’d talk about it one more time…
