Can love happen at first sight?

As I dived into some old files of mine (a writer’s continous journey), and at some point started searching by title, it came to my own attention that I haven’t written many verses on romantic love. My blog entries are more leaned toward the opposite; heartbreak. Granted, we all tend to write about what has shaped our hearts the most, so maybe that explains my “lack of love” in my writings department.

And so I asked myself, have I really been let down that many times? Explains everything… While at the same time, not really. I haven’t been in love more than once — twice, perhaps, if we’re speaking truthfully. Infatuated? Many. In lust? Unnecessarily plenty. But I didn’t know the difference between any. All I know for sure is that two of these can hurt like hell. Hint: lust is not in the shortened list.

I do think they’re all interrelated, though; that one can become the other if fed correctly. I do think that infatuation is an early stage of love, but if the feeding tube is cut, it can die not at a fast rate but a slow death. It can be agonizing, and I think that’s why it is mistaken by love. Too many “what-ifs” are left hanging on when infatuation is cut short. And nothing trolls the psyche like the unknown. 

So how is it that some people swear they can tell when it’s love? How is it that some people can assure you “it was love at first sight”? Listen, explaining the differences to myself is enough to send me into an intergalactic spiral. So I won’t even try to put it into words today. But I will say this: romantic love doesn’t just happen. It is something that grows over time — over the small talks and your formed attachment. It is something that feeds off fantasies, similar sense of humor, trust, reciprocated thoughtfulness, communication, even jealousy. it is something that can feed off…lust. 

These things don’t just happen overnight, don’t believe the hype. What I do believe can happen is, based on personal experience, you can get really infatuated with a person from the start, even if it goes nowhere. As my non-scientific research has proven, I don’t know why this torturous phenomenon happens. But chemistry works in mysterious ways, maybe? And that sh–t can go on forever and have you believe it is love.

But do you feel comfortable enough when you’re with them? Does silence become awkward or an opportunity to hold each other? Does loyalty suddenly turn into an automatic switch? Do you forgive their flaws? Love is comfort! Love is caring without regards for one’s own safety. Love can be reckless as f—k.

My point is a romantic relationship is born out of many different scenarios. Physical attraction is a big one, no matter how many would like to deny it. I think a relationship can start with lust, but never with true love. But in my opinion, it is a no; love at first sight can never happen. But infatuation, on the other hand, can quickly evolve.