Music to her brain

What felt like a breakdown was probably a combination of hormonal changes and the realization that my present was bigger than anything I had imagined in the past. The realization that the parent who raised me and bulled her way through the ups and downs of life, without anyone by her side, is now only a shadow of what used to be a blazing light.

Some time ago, my mother was diagnosed with dementia — the loss of cognitive functioning, like the ability to think rationally, remember, and express her thoughts. Although I’m not sure yet of how much I want to share of her story, I will say that watching a strong person you care about go through the different stages of cognitive decline, feels like a punch in the gut. Every time.

I do enough in my daily life to keep me from drilling my own skull in trying to make sense of it all. But when I do have the time and need to think about it, it just takes me on a rollercoaster ride all over again. It is tough.

Her mood changes from hoppy to mopey swiftly sometimes. And, her memory loss is difficult to deal with, for her mostly, I am sure. She may not remember a word you said five minutes ago. But one thing that is remarkable is how, when it comes to music, she doesn’t skip a beat. She still knows all the lyrics to hundreds of songs. She hums, sings, dances, and recites old poems. And it got me thinking, it might be a great thing in our journey. Now I know there is at least one thing she still knows and loves, and that is music. So far, she hasn’t lost it all.

I understand her long-term memory may play a big role here, since this is who she’s always been, but even with recent songs; when she doesn’t remember the lyrics, she hums to the tune. That’s incredible, and it can be something that will help her maintain her cognitive functioning to a decent level.

So the past won’t help our present, but the future may. Though often saddened, I remain optimistic that her healthy lifestyle will make the decline less rocky.

I don’t know how long this road will be, but for now, I am sure of the role that music plays in her brain health and I know that it helps. Not that it’s any different from times when she was mentally well, but now I make sure I play her favorite music for her to dance and sing to when times are rough.