In all my wishes

I wish you could feel
my thumping heart
every time you texted
to tear me apart
say you can’t come by
after disrupting my time

I wish you would’ve seen
the excitement on my face
cause I hadn’t seen you
in more than twelve days
and it was overdue
having you in my bed
feeling your embrace

I wish you knew how much it hurt
when you made me derail,
a perfectly clear path for you
but flip me around like another page,
another prisoner in your jail

I wish you knew
what monogamy meant
to some of us and
the million hints
you couldn’t get
whenever I’d vent

I wish I had been strong
I wish vulnerability hadn’t shown
at a time when all I wanted
was escape into safer arms

And it is in this,
all of my wish
that I realize…

I wish we hadn’t crossed paths

I wish I’d done the math

I wish I had dismissed your calls earlier on

I wish there was no name to be found on
my phone

I wish the media had
not played a part
I wish it wasn’t so
persistent on with whom
a conversation I should start

I wish I had known the difference
between a passing fancy and a love match

Because the thing is this:

I wish I couldst start from scratch
I wish I never met you…at all