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Inspiration Killers: Unblock Yourself
Once upon a time (early 2020, to be exact), about two weeks after being forced to strictly work from home, I found the final piece to an almost year-long puzzle: my day job was an inspiration-killer, artistically speaking. That time when the world around us stopped turning and forced us to do the things that we’d be doing, had there not been a need to get a day job, suddenly felt like breathing again. Who would’ve thought that in the middle of a pandemic I’d be feeling like myself. I remember it vividly because, well, these are some of the exact words I wrote once I felt the fairy (also…
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And Just Like That, March
One morning, I blinked and reality wasn’t any longer. “Fourteen days,” I was told. An early Spring break…I couldn’t be mad about that. But just a little over the due Spring break and we’d all be back. Would it be like going back to normal? I was sure of that. Looking at a room full of confused little gazes and wobbly little hands waving on their way out, I wondered, too, “Is this how we say goodbye?” I missed them not. Sleeping in for days was the life. Mid-March led the way. Waking up alone every day soon made no sense. And so was a new calendar that had no…
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By Chance – What If?
It’s so funny the way some things turn out. One tiny action can change the course of your life forever. We experience so many of those instances, but I don’t think we always realize just how freakish it is. Sometimes, it’s almost inevitable to cross paths with some people. It feels like you were meant to meet them. Your coworkers or your classmates, for example; they were already there (or it might’ve been you) and it’s easy to predict you’ll see one another every day after that and will probably become close friends. Still met by chance, but it was more of a forced interaction. The event could make sense…
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The Ones Who Stay, The Ones Who Go Away
There are friends who want you to stay Friends who want you away Friends in distress Friends in happiness Friends from childhood Friends you just met There are friends who show up Friends who give up Friends who go the extra mile Friends who won’t walk down one aisle Friends you can sin with Friends to go to church with There are friends who believe in you Friends who doubt you Friends who call to check on you Friends who call to get something from you Friends who listen when you talk Friends who only do the talk There are friends you can get wild with Friends you can only…
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Playing It Safe? Break Through
It’s either a nine-to-five with a 401(k) plan, be potentially set for life (but with a side of Sour Patch), OR swim against the current for an odd chance at doing what you really want. Our options seem so limited; break through that. I have not played it safe, and it’s come with consequences, but are we here to just ultimately show up to our funeral intact? That sounds like a sad purpose. As someone said, “Trust the still, small voice that says, ‘this might work and I’ll try it’.”
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Eat a Sandwich! — and Other Commands
“You’re skinny as a dog,” my classmate, Jess, said to me once in high school. That’s my earliest recollection of anyone ever bringing my own weight to my attention as an attempt to offend me. Although I found her dog analogy a bit unfitting, I knew what she meant. But looking back, I also realize those were actually some of my “fuller” years. I wasn’t over or underweight, I remember. I just appeared thinner next to them. Every now and then, I would get confused when people called me “la flaca” because I didn’t even see myself that way; skinny. And on other occasions, I would be oblivious of the…
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When In REM – Excerpt
Today marks the thirteenth day of me waking up to Mr. Rodrigo’s attacks—a milestone I won’t be celebrating. Some days, I stay in bed and stare at the white ceiling above me, asking whoever can hear my thoughts what I’ve done to deserve this. Then, I try to fall asleep again, ignoring the proven fact that I will be woken up repeatedly within five minutes of falling asleep. I remind myself that the man is a d–k who can’t even bother to give his neighbors the heads-up. I should just seize the day. Staring up, I pray to the ceiling that I can fall asleep again for a little longer.…
