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Birthday triggers and a sunrise
Every year around the sun has come with a new challenge since my decades climbed more ladders. I’ve had to pick myself up from every imaginable scenario; through the existential dreads, mood swings, from every harmful mental stage. I’m glad that I have, but it always leaves room to wonder, have I gotten this right? Should I care? And, why? And it seems like a thing that one day came to stay: good ol’ birthday sadness. So the question remains: why is my birthday so triggering instead of bringing me happiness? It seems the farther I go into my double digits the harder it becomes to dig it. Everything and…
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Gentle white flags: I’ve come far
I forget why I hated you Between the changing of seasons, the tears and the fair reasons you gave me to despise you I forget why I hated you I’ve admired the immense kindness of others while failing to acknowledge my own it takes courage, sense, a heart of gold to wave a white flag when you’re thrown stones Even amidst the war you started I forgot why I cut you off and the poems I’ve written seem not enough of a reminder of the rage I once felt in my struggle to break the spell No point in fighting what I can’t remember though I can’t help but wonder…
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Freethinker meaning of life
No one knows what the meaning of life is. We don’t even know what we’re doing here or where we’re going. So I say to self, might as well take advantage of the space and time that the universe has given me and do some positively amazing things with it. Except for the days when I can barely move a muscle or open my eyes in the morning, I try. In fact, I overwhelm myself with the amount of things I plan on doing; which I later realize would require time and, oftentimes, money to get it done, which I then realize that to make the money, I’d have to…
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I’m praying and I don’t even pray
A prayer is interpreted as a “humble request” to a higher power. It is closely linked to organized religions, but those of us who believe in spirituality only may also invoke whatever power for help or guidance every now and then. So, I pray… that I walk through a rose bush on the way to my day-to-day that the sun shines bright, that the air is warm, and breathing it will be all right. I pray sometimes that the needle puncturing my skin, injecting the survival fluids in my veins, is pushed in by gentle hands and a reassuring voice telling me everything is okay. I pray that my gained…
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Look Up! You’re Missing the Fun
In the sky a bird rejoiced. We say they sing for rain. One of those things you almost miss because you looked away. Always looking down, scrolling to no end, while in front of us a sublime scenery takes shape and form. I say to myself, let’s just walk; no music, no browsing, no talking, just walk. And without warning I find my face again buried in my phone. Repeatedly saying to self, “Look up! You’re missing the sun.” And the fun, and the beauty of the formation of silver clouds up above. So then I lift my head up high and briefly close my eyes to take it all; feel…
