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Tired, truly
Tired, truly. Of words that fall out reckless from careless tongues; half-formed, half-thought, like they were never meant to mean anything at all. How can’t they see or understand pain unless it’s theirs to claim? How can their eyes never learn to read truth unless it flatters them? Tired, truly. This thing once called common sense now feels rarer than peace, rarer than listening. This blindness to another’s ache. How strange. Tired, truly. Of being weighed, measured, and still found suspicious for just existing without apology, for being ambiguous. Tired, truly. Of being the quiet storm holding the walls up when others crumble. The twenty-four-seven adult in every room; steady,…
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Dear Mr. Potential Ex Man
I knew it as soon as I got in the car. I knew you’d be a friendly chatty guy. “I’ll call you right back, I’ll call you right back,” you said to whomever was on the phone, hanging up at the speed of light. Then, you greeted me with all smiles and that line. “Tell your man you’ll text him back cause you gotta talk to your driver now.” When I heard you say those words, I could read through your game plan. My intuition might’ve failed me terribly at other living times of life, but not now. Most times, I know an interested man (and a player) when I…
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One More Night: Lies I Told Myself
I don’t know how or when it started the first time I told myself these lies, grown so tall it’s hard to find the truth hidden somewhere deep in the twisted roots. One more night, I kept saying. And then it was two…and three… and it seems now too infinite to count. How do I go back to the beginning? Possibly the only way to understand at which point in my history I was cornered and held captive. Maybe going back is the only way to get out of it while I can. But oh do I want to stay… Contradiction and masochism played a part; a code that’s been…
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How to Save Yourself (in difficult times)
Hear me out, these are probably unconventional ways, but I’m still going to pass it on because I’m standing tall today thanks to the resilience I’ve built out of it all. Ever since we were kids, the story (at least for girls) has always been a Cinderella and her Prince type of deal. You poor little soul… don’t worry, your time will come, and by that they mean some dude will come along one day, out of nowhere, and rescue you from all of your sorrows and misery, regardless of what your troubles may be. Cool story, bro. But what if I told you men actually have been a consistent…
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The Quiet Therapists Within
Who’s the therapist in your life? Or are you that someone? You know, that person who, whether their profession or not, has the spine, the mind, and the guts and that swag that screams, “so what?”— do it and do it twice. And they’re classy enough to be your trusty go-to when the going gets hard. Well, here we are. Interestingly enough, we don’t see dark but light. Every terrible turn or outcome is a sign; an opportunity to retract and restart. Doesn’t mean inside we aren’t cracking and seeing stars from the swings life takes at us, often straight to the heart. But we know better not to trust…
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Look Up! You’re Missing the Fun
In the sky a bird rejoiced. We say they sing for rain. One of those things you almost miss because you looked away. Always looking down, scrolling to no end, while in front of us a sublime scenery takes shape and form. I say to myself, let’s just walk; no music, no browsing, no talking, just walk. And without warning I find my face again buried in my phone. Repeatedly saying to self, “Look up! You’re missing the sun.” And the fun, and the beauty of the formation of silver clouds up above. So then I lift my head up high and briefly close my eyes to take it all; feel…
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Life’s Throes
Pretty face to please all the masses lower, middle, and upper classes But they can’t tell from outside my glasses if they’re wrinkles or just wet lashes I find it hard to say the words that trap themselves in my mind Secretly wondering behind the curtains Is it okay to hide behind these blinds? Twenty four hours are short I’d be calling it a day by midnight, a pretentious “alright” won’t solve going berserk during daylight Not just a pretty piece of nature for show, flowers need warmth and water to grow a little sunshine to glow and I, some time to process life’s throes.
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If My Walls Could Talk
They’d probably tell on me, but I wonder which rumors they’d choose to spread. Would it be the story of how much I procrastinate; how I spin on my heels eighty-nine times a day before making it out the door when I need to be somewhere on time? I wonder if they notice me when I have a bad day, when I’m out in space, when I can’t concentrate because the world’s batsh*t. I wonder if they can tell that my soul is scarred because cold-hearted lads keep finding a way to get in my heart; that I allow too many chances, that I’m too nice to the unkind. I…
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Self-expression and Human Relations
What do you do when you’re sad, happy, or angry? How do you let other people know what you’re feeling, should they need to know? Notice any patterns of behavior in the way you express your emotions? That’s your way of self-expression and it’s part of your personality. Don’t you usually feel better after you say something that you might’ve wanted to “get off your chest”? When you express those feelings or concerns, be it to someone else or to yourself, the weigh may come off right away. That is because being heard and understood are crucial for a stable emotional state. But expressing your thoughts and feelings doesn’t always…
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Potential Psychopaths or Shy People
Upon realizing I was feeling tired, I turned around to skip the one mile walk and head to a local store instead, one within shorter distance. I heard the flapping sound of flip-flops following right behind me. I turned so quickly I must not have seen who it was and, by then, I was embarrassed to look back. Sometimes, I imagine that, if I ever get abducted, this is how my “captor” will get away; criminal sketch artists couldn’t save me because I didn’t want to look at my attacker’s face. I only knew it was a woman because of the shadow—long ponytail swaying from side to side. But this…
