“You miss him?” I tell them not, can’t miss what you never had. Never had a father figure, but never mind, mom was stricter in my childhood the only victor. Can’t put him anywhere in the picture of a now damaged structure that once could’ve been salvaged if our relationship hadn’t been ravaged by neglect and mismanage. Now I question my mistrust in love or lust, can commit but disconnect because I know I’ll end up crushed. Can show affection if a special connection awakens my elation, but for my heart protection shut down at the sense of rejection. Deep in this black hole that is my mind and soul…