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Fools or Selective Memory?
“May your walls come down for the right one” is a mantra of my own that I sometimes recite to friends who find it hard to open up to new relationships. But in reality, it’s a line born out of my own hesitations and my continuous struggle with letting my guard down. In my history, every time I try to let down my guard I’m reminded why I keep the security tight. Open up, and I’m betrayed. Get too comfortable, I’m met with disrespect. Profess my feelings, they don’t reciprocate… And they don’t realize it — that even though my heart hangs on my sleeve, it fights attachment and it’s…
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When You Give More than You Get
I won’t list specific situations, but many times in the past I acted in a selfish ways towards others. I’ve done things without thinking about their feelings or the consequences my actions could bring. Subconsciously or not, though I’ve never been the kind to directly demand that all eyes be on me, I’ve occasionally made it all about me. Yet, in spite of this flawed system of mine that can sometimes be so indomitable, I recently came to the realization that I tend to give more than I get, without expecting anything in return. It’s a genuine act of benevolence, because when you give more than you get, you know…
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Mutual
You’re never too old to be unable to identify feelings, are you? You’re never too old to feel again the things that once felt new, when you were too young to understand that the phenomenon which bugged your stomach and fogged your mind and kept you up at night wasn’t at all lightning bolts; that it was coming from within you, something about chemistry and the heart? When you’re young they tell you, “One day you’ll understand your heart.” Bull crap. They forgot to tell you it’d be a lifelong deal bound to be repeated more than twice. Isn’t all this life experience supposed to make us wiser and, thus,…
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Heart Disease You Can’t See
She couldn’t understand how, if Earth spun on its axis twenty-four seven and each full turn was a different day, her heart didn’t change. What on Earth, the stubbornness. Two thousand four hundred days it’d been, she learned the definition of eternity. A grueling and petrifying feeling, like looking at a ghost and holding your breath until it goes away, instead of running from it. It was no way of living, feeling that way. Why couldn’t she escape that constant state of ache? Heart disease is failure of the heart’s muscles, but what about the profound heavy emotions? It’s an incurable disease to be unable to breathe or control your…
